THE TRIP

Hello world,

Begin with a small morning briefing, I started the day with lot of new hope (plus a bit anxiety). Imagine what will happen for next year and year after that, and so on. Realizing there're so many things to be learned and become my initiative.

Is it a sin if we have an elevated future goals? are we way too confident?

What initially crossing my mind is, is it my dream or should be our dream? is it singular or plural thingy?

Perhaps, the best I can do for now is hoping (indeed planning) for the best and prepare for the worst. To be mature inside and out.

NEW WORLD

Hello world,

It's been almost 3 months since I let my doll slept with us in our room. I wonder, if he could speak to me, what will came out....

"Dear my new world,
I forgot when was the last time I'm pampering myself
I forgot when was the last time I'm laughing my silliness
I forgot when was the last time I'm being imperfect (which was fun)
I forgot when was the last time I woke up in the morning without being rush
I forgot when was the last time I'm not worried to be late at home
I forgot when was the last time I created such a beautiful song within 10 minutes
I forgot when was the last time I'm being selfish
I forgot when was the last time I quantified the quantity of quality time
I forgot when was the last time I got through the day without worrying my schedule reminder
I forgot when was the last time I felt free to go with anyone I want to go with"

"Wherefore, it's different now"

"The plans are become 1
The me time become our time
The selfishness become sacrifice
The ruffle become the understanding"


"Waiting such a harmony permeated the new life membrane
Vanishing the unusual feeling coming through the day"

RELIEVED

Hello world,

Today is the determination of my lifetime anxiety, actually my women-xiety. The USG test and TORCH test. Perhaps, all woman-to-be in this world will feel the same as I am. Yes, it's about the fertility and probability of having a cute healthy baby.

After had have much support from husband and family, finally I decided to test it (a little drama and exaggerated). Finally i choose one of the prominent gynecologist in Bandung.

Initially i felt a bit awkward. Honestly that was the first time within 25 years I went to see the gynecologist.

Registered at the evening queue intentionally, the nurse offered me to go straight to the doctor's room. I was scared at that time, I'm alone, no husband, no mother, no friends, just myself, and that was the first time. But, on a second thought, why should be afraid, eventually I should meet him though. Then I got into his room, and he was immediately asks me to go to the USG diagnose chair (trans vaginal diagnose). 

It was the most awkward situation in my whole life (sitting NOT sleeping in a chair that required my legs open wide), but the doctor was calm me down, and he (slowly and gently) entered the instrument which-formed like a vibrator (sounds creepy and it was) into my uterus.

For a moment i was paused, waited his reaction, and finally he said "Fortunately, your uterus in a good condition, in fact being fertile at this moment, can be directly fertilized".

The nervous feeling suddenly disappeared. At least, I lost one concern. Still one remain, the TORCH test. I'm not pretty sure about this, my house is like a zoo, many cats and birds eventhough I've rarely get in touch with them. But still, it's freaks me out.

This test need 3 tubes of my blood. For God sake, it was make me limp. The result will arrived within 2 days, and hopefully the result won't be that horrible.

CONSTRUCT

Hello world,


Day by day, the words seems reluctant to spill from my mind. Even a phrase seems like a 100 pages narration for me to made. Really hate this circumstances, as if the time would eat me, drowning me into the bottom of it distinctness.

I'm technology babies, can't live beneath skimble-skamble long story for a day. If i could i would move to antartica, i will dig an inland cave, no one just me and my harp. And again, i wish i have one, i wish i play some.

This harmony, is way to imbalance. To reset, to restructure, to construct from zero are my desire. Hence, the pattern of the neverending saga, will stay apparent. Then the clement will remain.

Play that string of major tunes. The sadness will no longer occur. Strive back from old wound. I'm the one who control my route. Until the boundless magnitude are in my clasp.

Vanish into thin air, all corners of the world are of my sight. I'll be gone then back home when I'm needed. I'll be gone then back home when I'm completed. I'll be the construct of myself.

CHOICES

Hello world,

Today's plan is certainly failed. The rain wasn't stop flooding the city. Being ready since morning make me and his (my husband) family waiting in vain. We canceled the "nyekar" ritual for this day and replaced by family's lunch and shopping.

Before me and my husband joined the trip, the cousin had told us that her daughter had been taken to the hospital, via bbm. She needs to be operated immediately, and she needs my husband to be at the hospital.

Before I continue my story, our niece (who has same age with me) is avowed pregnant. She's been married for 2 month (our marriage is different from 1 week). We was happy to hear that, until the obstetrician told us that there's something wrong with the gestation. The baby is projected twins, but one of the fetus was growing outside the uterus and it can be endanger our niece's life.

Arrived at the hospital, we're waiting the obstetrician to visit. We need the explanation about the action going to be obtained. My niece seemed fine, she smiled and told us a story until the obstetrician come and tell us her condition.

The point was, he thought, the gestation should not be prolonged. The fetus outside the uterus should be carried out immediately otherwise it will grow bigger and become rupture causing bleeding. Our question was, how about the other baby's inside the uterus?


The obstetrician give us 2 choices,
1. We can choose laparoscopy, BUT, the risk is about the anesthesia drug that will be used during the surgery where might be affect the fetus's growth leading to abortion or baby's blemish.


"Laparoscopic surgery, also called minimally invasive surgery (MIS), bandaid surgery, keyhole    surgery is a modern surgical technique in which operations in the abdomen are performed through small incisions (usually 0.5–1.5 cm) as compared to larger incisions needed in traditional surgical procedures." source: wikipedia

2. We can use the MTX (metotrexate) drugs injection for 5 days, BUT, the other fetus won't be alive.

"Methotrexate is commonly used (generally in combination with misoprostol) to terminate 
pregnanciesabortifacient). It is also used to treat ectopic pregnancies.^[7] In the case of early missed miscarriage (particularly a blighted ovum), in which fetal demise has occurred but the body has not expelled the fetus, methotrexate may be used to help the body begin the miscarriage process. during the early stages (i.e. as an " source: wikipedia

Either my niece, her husband, her mom and us were upset to hear that two options. Seems that the risks from the two options couldn't  be worse. Until now they are still on their deepest consideration. All can we do is just hoping for the best.

At our pray we believe, if we just worth enough to be given such a bless, then we'll be.

(the article should be posted on Monday, 13th Sept 2010, but the network was f***ed up)

IS THIS IT?

Hello world,

It's a beautiful day to visit my village up on the hill. Quite hot in here, but it's better than rainy. What makes me excited is my husband (the city boy) come with us to see what's going on there and how was my mother raised until she's 15.

Lucky we brought the SUV here, the road is obviously impossible being traversed by any form of city car. One sub village to another was crossed, the window was opened letting us waving our hands to the villagers occasionally.

Eventually we arrived at my grandma's graveyard, still, up on the hill, many mosquitoes, and definitely hot. Finished reading some prayer, we continued our trip to my grandpa's graveyard. Compared to the previous one, this family graveyard was more modest. Only gravestone and mildew. My mom's said that it's what my grandpa's family ask for, from soil to soil.

Just like every year's ritual, after finished visiting the family graveyard, we came to one of my family's house to have a lunch. Sadly, the house was nearly fall down. But it didn't vanish their smile to welcome us at their house. The food was served, and still in a modest form, grilled fish, sauce and rice ( read: ikan bakar cobek dan sambel terasi). Then we spent the afternoon by taking lunch together interspersed with sundanese jokes.

Here, the 20.000 rupiah money is long last for 1 week and perhaps, more. They live from their own garden, rice fields and ponds. They don't ever think to move to another city or find another job. They feel comfortable in here. Quite pessimistic, probably, but let's face it as one's choice of life, and they feel happy with that.

Differ from the city people, they less complaining even though their life is far below average. They're never scared of poverty because they always have their family and neighbor who won't let them down. They're feel rich with their harvest, even though the result is not satisfying, they always have and willing to do other things to get something to eat and live for. They're never give up.

This trip's make me feel bad, particularly, how I'm grumbling all day, how I'm complaining about everything. Maybe this Ramadhan enlightening me. Is this it my dear God? my pray is answered. Thank you.

THE TRUTH IS HERE

Hello world,


Today is the sacred day, the true victory celebration for muslim people. As ritual, people are going to pray together, gathering with families, forgiving each other, etc. For me, this is the first day I celebrate Ramadhan together with my husband. I wonder, may exciting things will happen today. We (me and my husband) are already set up some plans to confront this day.

I started the day at 5.00 am in the morning, took a bath in the middle of Bandung's morning cold air. Planned to pick up my husband from his duty at the hospital at 6.00am then went to mosque together for ied praying.


But things were going different. After 1 hour waiting in vain, I decided to pray at the hospital. He said that there were some new patients coming up and need to have surgery immediately.

I'm so dissapointed at that time. As a new couple, one thing was crossing my mind is, how dare his chief do that to us. Even my husband couldn't go to pray Ied by force of immediate surgery. He supposed to finish then shift his duty to his friends on 5.45, and now he needed to prolong his duty until 6 hours ahead.

Then I choose to went back home with empty hand. I couldn't wait there for another 6 hours, it will kill me.

I guess by husband would feel the same way as i do, but he's not. He asked me to be patient, because this is his job. He thought that this surgery was more important than the Ied pray and eating ketupat with his family. I almost upset by his statement until he said that "this is one's life i'm tying to save, otherwise he won't face any ramadhan next year".

I was shrug off. I'm shy to myself. How come I'd be that selfish. What's the point of praying together, eating ketupat together if on the different place, someone is struggling for his life and might be won't feel Ramadhan again because of me, me that grumbling a lot, asking my husband to choose his family at that time.

So this is what pa ustadz called miracle of ramadhan. What I learn today is not about forgiving or family juxtapose, but to be more patient and sincere facing what might be more important than ourself.

MIND MANIPULATION

Hello world,

After 4 days of "30 hari mencoba menulis" challenge, I was shocked to discover how television can control you mind and thought, fortunately I watched the right program at this time. At least 3 from 4 of my ideas comes from TV and I'm not proud for that.

Then I came up with the conclusion, perhaps, for the last 4 day I spent my life more in front of TV (which is rarely happened). Thus, it might be different, if, I changed the TV with the book, internet, and some conversations with inspiring people.

TV, books and internet (most of them) are just conducted by 1 way communication, and lack of eye contact occurred. But, still it can control one's thought and idea and the most remarkable one is changing one's principle. Imagine, how if there are 2 ways communication, with eye contact, gesture, skin touch etc, how enormous and obvious the mind manipulation could be consist.

If you are intelligent enough, you’ll know that you are intellectual creation of your parents, your surrounding, your school, your university, etc. Once you go in the life on your own the manipulation goes harder on you.

Anyway, before we go further,  what is mind control/manipulation is?

"Mind control (also known as brainwashing, coercive persuasion, thought control, or thought reform) refers to a process in which a group or individual "systematically uses unethically manipulative methods to persuade others to conform to the wishes of the manipulator(s), often to the detriment of the person being manipulated"^. The term has been applied to any tactic, psychological or otherwise, which can be seen as subverting an individual's sense of control over their own thinking, behavior, emotions or decision making." the almighty wikipedia

Mind manipulation commonly used by politicians, methodist, seller (are you into MLM? then you are being manipulated), and bunch of people who wish that he/she can control the situation or perhaps make their opposite go after her/him.

I thought that mind manipulation is not totally bad, if you used in in a sincere way for noble intention. Below are some techniques to do the mind manipulation. You can use it and practice it to your opposite wherever the situation is like: being interviewed, negotiation, presentation (to customer) etc, :

1. Increase mental confusion and increase the individual's suggestibility 

2. Apply strong non-physical punishments

3. Promote social isolation

4. Attack one's self concepts and world view 

5. Make intense and frequent attempts to undermine a person's confidence in himself and his judgment to create a sense of powerlessness 
6. Manipulate information and language
7. Use or have present psychological threat of a secular nature

source: www.exitsupportnetwork.com

Remember, only for noble intention. =))

JUST A MOVIE

Hello world,

The rain wouldn’t stop along the day. The meeting was canceled, it’s was surprisingly only half day office hour. I hadn’t made any plan before, so I was thinking to go shopping, circling the town, have a dinner in Hanamasa until our stomach can’t load even a tiny piece of pudding.

At 10 PM we got home, as usual he (my hubby) go straight to the living room and turn on the  TV, at this time we decide to watch starmovie channel. The film already run for a quarter time, yet we consider to watch it.

It’s not a “must watch” movie, maybe you guys will underestimating my movie taste. However, I always love a simple yet light movie that will raise your smile a bit in every segment of their story. What’s so special is (I think) the movie was full of  valuable meaning which can be learned by us (especially a management student)

Here’s a brief synopsis of the movie:

New in town

“A high-powered consultant (Renée Zellweger) in love with her upscale Miami lifestyle is sent to New Ulm, Minnesota, to oversee the restructuring of a blue collar manufacturing plant. After enduring a frosty reception from the locals, icy roads and freezing weather, she warms up to the small town's charm, and eventually finds herself being accepted by the community. When she's ordered to close down the plant and put the entire community out of work, she's forced to reconsider her goals and priorities, and finds a way to save the town. After tasting her secretary's secret recipe of tapioca pudding, she decides to adapt a former yogurt production line to produce this special recipe of tapioca “

Perhaps, this is the 5 things resume (my version) of the movie, (this is really helpful if you are the management student, or at least you ate attending my entrepreneurship class)

1. The first thing to do when you lead an organization is knowing and learning their culture and behavior then adapt. Furthermore, you should adopt it into your new kind “way of leading”

2. To change one’s culture and behavior moreover to such an organization or community is not an easy way to do, all you need is to be patient and persistent until you get the result. Find the right side to do some approaches, find the most influential person at the community then make friends with them until you can communicate.

3. To be the true leader, you only need 40% of you brain and 60% of your heart, meaning that you need to prioritize the humanity, indeed your worker prosperity, family and future.

4. When something is happen not as what you expected, never give up, find the best solution to recover it or find a new idea

5. Every business has their own lifecycle, they must be mature yet declined at very undetermined time period. What to do afterwards? Do some vertical integration and horizontal integration to your product/company.

OK, enjoy your holiday class (ups, we’re not in the class?) haha sorry.

Ps: please, don’t be too serious, it just a movie ;))

TRUE SEEKER

Hello world,

It's 10.43 PM, and I almost forgot I have this 30 day challenge until I watch BBC knowledge. It's "speed" serial, but today's topic is not about the car or other yet about the future technology. Today's theme of "Speed" is snatching my attention to hold the channel for a while (before i turn it into HBO) moreover when they show some interview with futurologist.

What? a futurologist?

I almost disappointed with myself to figure out that it was the first time I've ever heard a profession called futurologist (Is it only me?). Then I go to the right place to ask whatever you want to ask. Then here comes the explanation:

"Futurists or futurologists are scientists and social scientists whose speciality is to attempt systematically to predict the future, whether that of human society in particular or of life on earth in general."

source : the almighty wikipedia

The first thing crossing my mind is wondering how brilliant they are to make such a future prediction, I mean, they are nearly God. But, in fact, they're not that miraculous.

"The terms most commonly refer to authors, consultants, organizational leaders and others who engage in interdisciplinary and systems thinking to advise private and public organizations on such matters as diverse global trends, plausible scenarios, emerging market opportunities and risk management."

So to be the futurist or futurologist you don't have to do such a ridiculous thing as the psychic did, haha, again, the science and technology always win.

To be pointed out in this story is not about the futurist itself, yet about the discussion of the future technology impact to the human kind around the world.

Question to be answered: "We now live in such an advance technology which help us to do everything in a minute, connect one person in one city to another in a second, make the world as in our hands, but, why do we sleep less than the people who live 1000 years ago whereabouts there's no such thing called technology. Actually, we supposed to be simplified aren't we?"

The answer (by the futurist) is: "We're end up at one conclusion that the human kind (nowadays) are the true seeker. Thus, as they get the answer and the result for something, they'll search for another, then the cycle will go again and again until they get satisfied (which is never).

So that is  the answer why you guys (and me) still sit in front of computer at this time (where you suppose to be on bed). Because, we are the true seeker.

VIEW FROM NOWHERE

Hello world,

Seems like the sky and the weather not so friendly today. At usual, right at 7.56 I'm arrived at my office, with my heavy head and bones, figure out that no one else in the room. It's time to turn on my i-tunes, and play some music out loud without afraid disturbing others with my 160bpm drum and bass playlist.

For some minutes I fall silent, start to listing what should be done today, believe me you have to do this everytime you start the day otherwise you'll remain nothingness at the end of the day. After I put my schedule on my phone reminder (hello forgetful people) one song on my playlist have inspired me.

"View From Nowhere', by Mitsabishi.

This song's remind me to my old-musicality-ambition. How can i call it, ambient-IDM-dusbtep, or whatsoever, but somehow the sound is taking me to somewhere i want to belong, yes indeed, not here.


Then i realized, hey there's something more worthwhile than grumbling on this cloudy morning. You wake up in the morning, your brain is fresh, listen to some good music then be inspired.

Yes, Be Inspired.

At least, I'm already start the first step on "how to make a song/music", be inspired, and make a new one is become my to-do list for today, or at least doing other songs remake. Hey, to be remembered, being inspired is not copying the pattern and the whole song. I mean here, Mistabishi is success to take my mood higher (which the most important thing,for me) to start producing something.

Then you are blessed morning person! Say hello to your fresh brain and put something meaningful in it. Be inspired, then start to produce something, everything is necessary.

Have a try! then have a good day!

PRELUDE

Hello world,

I'm digitalove, you can call me dina. This is the first time, I guess, I published my personal story to you. Sorry if I'm quite shy at first, honestly, i don't know how to write a story though. Thereafter I realized, hey it must be not that difficult if you write it in such a sincere way. Without a theme, without a curator, then the boundary is only me and myself.

OK, the point is, how to be good and "meaty" without any planned framework and idea, without any curation and a theme, in this such a thematic and competitive world? Wherefore, creativity can't be detained with any form of border.

I hate to figure out that I can't get far from this theoretical background that bother me day to day. About, what should come first, the target or the idea? Yes, that boring segmenting, targeting and positioning statement. Whereabouts the return is resulted from that two words, target and idea.
On the other day I might say to my class, "Before everything else, you should determine your STP then conduct the research" but the day after I might say to my self, "Where's your bright idea to collect your target?"

Then I came up with my statement that, to make a product is different with an art. Art is not a product and vice versa.

You are full of choices, world, besides managing the time and priority, now you came up with options "to be respected" or "to live in a proper way". Thus, the other question will shown up is, how can we live with that two balanced options? only lucky brilliant bastard who can do that.